Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
