i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
