we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
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