why im i the only drunk person in the library?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
