Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
