You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Dick very happy bro
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
