smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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