my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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