its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize