quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Naked Twister starts at high noon
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
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