My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize