My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
