when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Randomize
