He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
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