I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
