I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
