singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize