farters have to be the big spoon...
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
