So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Randomize