He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
my liver is dry heaving
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
