she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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