i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
He is an equal opportunity slut.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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