We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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