I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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