I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
