i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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