I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
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