how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
