I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize