it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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