I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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