I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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