The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
