he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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