it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
