I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
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