Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Randomize
