I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
