I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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