It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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