I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
