my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
