You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
He passed out mid-signature
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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