I cockslap morals
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
