I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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