why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I'm getting married
To pizza
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
