Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
