no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Holy shit dude........stairs
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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