You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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