Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
