Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize