Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
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