i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Enjoy the penises
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
