i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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