tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
