FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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