I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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