i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
