Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
