threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize