My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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